The One Room Session (Almost)#

When the chiming ended, the carvings on the walls cease their infernal undulations. The footsteps we heard outside the room became louder and suddenly 4 subhumans dressed in archaic scale mail broke through the door - three carrying odd, curved battleaxes, one wielding a glistening, dripping dagger. The subhumans launched into the room among us while a creature, human-sized but like a large octopi, ambulating with a sickening undulating gait on its tentacles, glaring eyes in its large head, stayed in the doorway. The creature began to wave its tentacles and the familiar reality distortion field filled the room. The cleric failed his save vs. spell and was incapacitated and disoriented. The rest of the party made their save.

• initiative loss
• one of the subhumans hit Seamus for 12 points with its axe
• they missed Tim and Flint
• Gonchar threw his hammer at the tentacular asshole, hitting him for 28 points
• Tim stabbed a subhuman for 5 points
• Flint slashed his opponent for 8 points
• Lycovyne zapped a Cone of Cold through the subhumans and into the tentacled creature, dealing 22 points of damage, killing the tentacled one ^{[These creatures appear to be susceptible to cold damage!]}
• Cathal leapt into battle and hit Tim’s opponent for 16 points of damage
• Kyril attacked Flint’s opponent, staving him for 10 points
• with the destruction of the tentacled creature the reality distortion field dissipated
• initiative loss
• Seamus got hit again for 3 points, though they missed Tim
• Cathal hit a subhuman twice, killing it
• Seamus hit his opponent for 17 points
• Menka hit the same foe for 5 points
• Gonchar spattered subhuman brains all over, killing Flint’s opponent
• Flint hit another subhuman for 4 points
• Kyril whacked the same foe for 6 points
• Lycovyne rolled a 19 with his Sword and lopped off the head of one of the remaining foes
• initiative win
• there was one left, and Seamus missed him
• Flint hit the last foe twice and killed it
• 4 subhumans, 30 hp
• 1 tentacular asshole, 40 hp

Immediately, we were set upon by a new group of 5 of the octopoid, tentacled creatures. One of the creatures’ tentacles began their dance and Lycovyne, Seamus and Kyril failed their saves. All three fell to their knees, beset by nauseating disorientation.

• initiative loss
• one attacked Gonchar with its tentacles, doing 8 points of damage
• another flayed Cathal with its tentacles for 4 points
• Menka whacked the creature with the dancing tentacles for 11 points, praise Thoth!
• Tim daggered the same creature twice for 9 points
• Gonchar struck back for 13 points
• Cathal hit back for 9
• initiative tie (natural weapons)
• the creature with the dancing tentacles spoke, offering the party the chance to surrender, though we did not accept his offer
• Flint got tentacled for 2 points, while Gonchar got hit for 4
• Seamus took a pull from his mug weapon and regained 8 points, belching loudly
• the creature with the dancing tentacles hit Menka for 2 points
• Cathal and Menka got hit for 2 more
• Menka flailed his opponent for 8 points
• Tim hit twice for 13 points
• Gonchar hit twice for 24 points
• Cathal hit twice for 25 points
• Flint slashed his opponent for 4
• Seamus healed himself, gaining 12 points
• initiative win
• Menka missed, as did Tim
• Gonchar nailed the casting creature with a natural 20, felling him, and reality began to return to normal
• Cathal nailed one of the creatures for 10 points
• Flint hit twice for 8 points
• initiative win
• one of the tentacled creatures created a new reality distortion field, and an army of deep ones attacked from the hallway
• Lycovyne cast a Cone of Cold into their midst, while Kyril began casting a Wall of Thorns down the hallway
• Lycovyne’s Cone of Cold dealt 21 points of damage to everything in its path
• Tim zapped the the caster with magic missiles for 21 points
• Flint hit a deep one for 7 points, killing it
• Kyril unleashed his Wall of Thorns - we heard grunts and wails of pain and agony from the hallway and then, abruptly, silence
• Kyril would soon walk through the Thorns (without taking any damage) and count 12 dead
• 5 tentacled creatures (40 hp)
• 12 Deep Ones (28 hp)

Cathal doled out the first aid.

Kyril took advantage of the silence and walked down the hall through his thorns to assess the situation. He counted 12 dead in the hallway and smelled smoke and heard voices and found a blade wall at (A). He walked back to the room with the pool to inform the party.

As he brought the party up to date, a pale, slight, attractive woman of southern heritage, her black hair braided - the Egyptian priestess Abigail!! - appeared in the room with the party, seemingly out of thin air, her face a mask of twisted, gleeful hate and rage, her smile notable by the large, sharp canine teeth within, her eyes burning red. She held up a scarab and spoke in Menka’s tongue (which only the cleric could comprehend), issuing a general command to “enrage!!”. Kyril and Tim failed their save vs. spell and were filled with burning, violent hatred and rage, and set to attacking those nearest them.

Kyril cast Heat Metal on Cathal’s armor, and Tim zapped Seamus and Menka with magic missiles, knocking them down to 35 and 12 hit points, respectively. The party worked to subdue the 2 charmed party members. Tim was grappled by Seamus, while Kyril was entangled in Flint’s web, only to be knocked unconscious when he started to cut his way through the net. While this occurred, the vampiress had seemingly evaporated.

At this point (of course) Abigail re-appeared and started attacking the entangled druid with sharp, wolverine-like gauntleted claws on each hand, one of which delivered an electric shock as her punches landed. She then evaporated again, laughing with delighted, evil glee. Cathal had jumped in the pool to cool off his armor, and now crawled out, dripping, and doled out some first aid. Menka cast his last Cure Light Wounds on himself, getting back to 19/54 points. Menka then cast remove curse on Kyril and it seemed to bring him back to our side. Tim remained tied up, securely, cursing, his mouth foaming with rage, straining against his bonds, although he would return to his senses shortly.

Cathal cast Cure Serious Wounds on Menka, getting him to 36/54, and Kyril cast spell{Cure Light Wounds} on Tim, getting him to 24/36. Just in time, too, as we were attacked by a new party of three tentacular assholes, and a tall, gaunt, cadaverous albino, as tall as Cathal, muttering incantations, his eyes burning with hatred. We’ll never get out of this room.

• initiative win
• Kyril cast faerie fire on the lot of them
• Menka cast Aid on himself, gaining 7 temporary hit points
• Cathal attacked one of our foes, doing 10 points of damage
• Gonchar attacked what appeared to be the spellcaster, hitting him for 17 points
• Lycovyne hit the same foe for 7 more
• Seamus hit a foe for 9 points
• Flint hit twice for 10 points
• initiative loss
• An octopoid’s tentacles began their dance and all made their save except Lycovyne
• Summoned by the leering albino, a lightning bolt formed in the door and entered the room - everyone in the party saved but still took 13 points of damage
• Cathal got hit for 4 points, while FLint got hit for 3
• Gonchar attacked the caster, hitting again for 17 points
• Tim zapped the caster with magic missiles
• Seamus speared a foe for 10 points
• Cathal hit twice for 26 points
• Gonchar hit the spellcaster again for 13 points - how many points does this creature have?
• Flint hit a foe for 87 points
• Menka hit the same foe for 8 more, killing it
• initiative loss
• The spell caster zapped Gonchar with magic missiles for 19 points
• thoroughly pissed off, the cursing dwarf hit the albino back for 14 points, splattering spellcaster brains all over the place
• Menka got flailed by tentacles for 4 points
• Gonchar (out in the hallway) heard a female voice muttering incantations from the south and got nailed by a flame strike but saved and, helped by his Ring of Fire Resistance, only took 10 points of damage
• Seamus hit an octopid for 12 points
• Seamus then turned invisible and peeked around the corner - the blade wall was still in place
• 3 more Octopoid Spawn (40 hp) and Erist, the albino

Party Stats Reset#

Dying all over the place, Cathal suggested we use the second to last Wish in the Luck Blade to restore the party to health and spell lists from right before we entered Creel’s tower. Not all party members agreed with this decision but were onboard as a group, and it was done. Seamus (who was not present, and neither was his character sheet) took no part in the rest of the session, as we could not “reset” him with the Wish.

March or Die#

Sick to death of the fucking pool room and its heaping pile of charred and bloody corpses, we formed a line and headed out into the hall. We headed west, down the hallway that lead to the door we entered through, intending to Passwall through the wall east, behind the blade wall. Menka cast Passwall from the Wand of Earth and Stone and we made our way through the new tunnel, east.

A gnome stood at the far end of the tunnel, wearing a ripped tunic. Cathal detected evil, the gnome was probably part of Creel’s staff. Menka was able to turn the gnome, praise Thoth! It hissed, showing sharp canines, and slunk backwards into the inky darkness. We followed the hallway beyond the blade wall north, then east, then south, back to the water-filled chamber, passing a door in the north wall on the way.

We returned to this north door and checked it for traps, finding none. We opened the door and entered a large 50’x 80’ room. The walls were once again covered in unsettling and undulating murals and illusions.

As soon as we entered the room, Abigail appeared behind Kyril and began attacking him with her electric gauntlets. Tempers began to flare on both sides of the 4th wall at this point and everyone in the party threw themselves at the bitch in an effort to take her out.

• initiative win
• Menka failed to turn her
• Cathal hit her for 9 points
• Gonchar, Lycovyne and Kyril missed her
• she pummeled Cathal for 9 points
• Gonchar hit her for 17 points
• initiative tie
• Tim zapped her with magic missiles for 17 points
• she hit Gonchar for 28 points of damage!
• Tim zapped her again for 22 points
• Menka cast Stumble on her
• Lycovyne rolled a 19, lopping off one of her hands with his Sword of Sharpness!
• Gonchar hit her twice for 16 points
• Cathal hit her for 9
• Kyril missed
• initiative loss
• she started to fade, saying “we will meet again”
• Tim drilled her again with magic missiles for 36 points
• Lycovyne did the same, hitting her for 27 more.

No matter how many points of damage you do, you can’t destroy a working plot device…

A Word From Our Sponsor#

…especially if destruction of that working plot device is governed by the rules in the Monster Manual. No matter how many HP the party insisted it be allowed to deal out before the end of the round, it did not do so with sunlight, immersion in running water, nor with a wooden stake, holy wafers in the mouth and commensurate beheading. Consequently, your foe evaporated, before, after or perhaps even during infliction of the above-detailed damage, into thin air while sneering, in pain and hatred, that you would meet again. The party was heard to complain vociferously to an uncaring god (or, as it would be, gods) about her death being governed by said rules, and Crom laughed, unconcerned with the travails of mortals.